More links than Zelda: episode 1

Before you do anything, watch this video. Do it.

Wow, right? What a hottie! I know I have a girl friend and all, but hawt diggity damn! I asked Sarah if it would be cool for me to continue dating her and marry the singer from Paramore at the same time. She hasn’t got back to me on that yet, but I feel confident she will aprove. And I know, she needs to eat a sandwich or something. I’m not usually into skinny chicks, but for real, that voice is incredible. And the hair! Hooboy! Nice! You may think she looks like David Bowie’s little sister, but I think she’s adorable.

Related? Who cares?

So I was going to do a post about the legalization of marijuana, but I thought fuck that, it’s too early (5:15 AM) for thinking and articulation and crap. Then I was going to write a post about some of my more vivid nightmares over the years, but I thought it was also a little too early for that. And then I was going to write a post about what’s going on in my life, but I don’t really want to think about that either. So instead, I’m going to give ya’ll some wicked cool linkage. Because if there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s finding weird shit on the internet. How weird you ask? This weird:

Why? Just why?

Yonkis: Not sure what the name Yonkis has to do with graffiti at a bus stop, but what the hell, it’s cool anyway.

Bible Fight: do you really need an explanation as to why a game called Bible fight is going to be kick ass? For real? Ok, how about this. You can play as Satan and beat up Jesus. Also, eve is pretty sexy. She’s rocking those leaves. (it’s called Sprinting to Hell for a reason) It takes a hot minute to load up though, so be patient.

Badass Origami: Yes, I know these two words should never go together. But it really is bad ass. I mean, it’s made by MIT students, and they can do crazy shit. I heard they have a ray gun that turns water into wine and multiplies fishes and loaves. Maybe that was a different story, whatever, the point is, it’s not your traditional origami.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre in 30 Seconds, and Reenacted by Bunnies: Well … that title pretty much sums it up.

Movie-a-Minute: For those of you who don’t enjoy sitting through two hours to find out the plot, this site condenses all of that crap into a few sentences. Would you like an example? Of course you would. Here’s a direct quote of their explanation for the plot of “Interview With a Vampire”.

Brad Pitt: I don’t want to suck blood from humans.

Tom Cruise: Yes you do.

Brad Pitt: You’re right. THE END

Women: Know Your Limits: OMFG, this shit was hilarious. And in my defense, I totally don’t think women should keep their mouths shut, stay in the kitchen, and make me some babies. Since most of my readers seem to be of the female persuasion. I think you can have any opinion you want if you’re in the kitchen making me babies. (just kidding, day-um)

An Epic Mount: Ok, this blows my mind, and it is real, which blows my mind twice. Some retarded bitch put out an advertisement on stating that she would have sex with a random stranger in exchange for … are you ready? 5,000 gold in World of Warcraft. So she could buy a horse or something. For real, she said she would have sex, possibly anal, possibly role playing WOW creepy shit, possibly with a group, and no matter whether you’re a dude or a chick, in exchange for imaginary money to buy a pretend horse so she didn’t have to spend a long time farming for her Epic Mount. For real? First off, why the hell is farming even in a game to begin with. And second, whaaaaat the fuuuuuck is wrong with this chick. And what sort of dude replies to that posting, especially considering she included her picture, which isn’t exactly flattering. Gah! The whole thing is blowing my damn mind. Gross. But funny. Yet still gross.

Alright, well I have to get off my ass and go to work now, so y’all have a good day.  I’ll be seeing you around. Later taters.


4 responses to “More links than Zelda: episode 1

  1. The grafitti art was awesome.

  2. Kristie: Yeah, a friend of some friends of my brother want me to spray paint their sons room with graffiti. I don’t really know jack shit about how to make graffiti. i mean I played around with designing some way back in high school, mostly because I enjoy how challenging it is. It really is way harder than it looks. But apparently I’m going to be a professional graffiti artist here pretty soon. At least for one or two nights. But, uh, yeah, that bus stop was a pretty sweet concept.

  3. That movie-in-a-minute shit was hilarious; since I’m obsessed with English accents, I went right to the synopsis of Four Weddings a Funeral…lol…it was like 5 words, but awesome 😉

    And YO: WTF up with this epic mount chick? I totally checked out her pic (icccckkk…) and I LOVED her response back to all those “losers who posted about her”, and how she was being all cocky and shit for getting her horse AND getting laid (and it was awesome how she threw in the “2nd date confirmation”…nice…)

  4. Romi: Yes it was, and I have mixed feelings about the WOW slut. I sort of want to root for her, but at the same time, my penis keeps speaking up and telling me she’s a nasty bitch who needs to be left alone forever. Especially because of her face.

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