Do I look like someone who would smoke … marijuana? (pt. 1)


Tommy the Chong

The answer is hell yeah I do. Cause I am someone who smokes marijuana, and I’m not the least bit sorry for doing so. In fact I think you should smoke it too, preferably with you mom and your children. Because getting high on life sucks, and you know it.

I kind of have to give a little summary of my drug related life up to this point. You see, for a long time I was as straight as an arrow. I proudly clutched my bible to my chest every Sunday as I gritted my teeth through the increasingly irritating services. I tried my damnedest to walk the straight and narrow, because that was what all the people around me were saying was good and proper, and holy shit I was scared of burning in hell.

Well, that just wasn’t the life I was supposed to lead. I had a little too much free thinker in me to be a good boy. And wouldn’t you know it, I began making friends who thought like me. My Junior year in high school, or living hell as I like to call it, I had completely surrounded myself with the bad seed of society. Those kids who your mother tells you not to hang out with, they were my people, and we all knew it. And it wasn’t long before I began to question exactly why I was following a moral code which so far had nothing to back it up.

I mean, everyone I enjoyed, all my friends, every person I didn’t think was a total douche bag, was already heavy into drugs and rock and roll. But on the other hand I had this pious gathering of religious tyrants who made my life a suck fest, and told me that everything I thought was fun was in fact the epitome of sin. And naturally I began to wonder if what I had been taught my entire life was in fact truth, or just a big lie to keep me in line. I started fucking with the heads of the good children around me, and to my surprise, they were very easily influenced. So if all the good kids that I knew who said drugs were bad were just puppets, and all the kids I thought were fun were free thinkers, then why the hell was I still a sober puppet?

It just so happens that some of my coworkers at the time had been trying to get me to smoke weed for several months. They had promised me a dollar if I just opened my mind and tried it. So one night I surprised them with a yes, and it was on. They never gave me that dollar, but what I got that night was ten thousand times more valuable. (twice that if the dealer you got it from stepped on it) I learned that what you are taught, by the people closest to you, is not necessarily true. You need to make your own decisions and do what you think is right. And what I thought was right was smoking as much weed as possible to catch up for all the years I had spent as a tool.

Amsterdam kicks ass

So I set out on a journey that took up the next four years or so. I got as high as is humanly possible. I tried every drug on the market, with the exception of heroin, cause I hate needles, and LSD cause every time it came around I missed it. And I eventually ended up on the idea that you can be as good as you want, but every person needs something bigger to open up their minds. For some people that thing is God. Not everyone is meant for drugs and fun and free living. But for many many good people like me, that thing that will free your mind of society’s restraints is a good old fashioned joint.

Skip ahead to the present and you will find a guy who’s not really a pot head, but also would really appreciate it if the whole world just backed the fuck up three steps and let me toke up in peace. I’ve got a lot of stress and bull shit going on in my life. And I’ve spent most of the last five years abstaining from pot because of all the various drug tests I’ve had to take. I swear to god, I can’t turn around without some ass hole I don’t even know forcing me to piss in a cup for them. If I want to smoke weed in my free time, why the hell shouldn’t I?

Forget that it’s illegal for five seconds and tell me just what exactly my smoking has to do with me performing my job, or being a responsible member of society? I am basically a construction worker. I fix mobile office trailers. How would me getting high stop me from painting, or replacing a toilette? How exactly am I a danger to anyone when I smoke? I’m not even a danger to myself. Damn, I just sit around and grin and munch on crazy shit I cook up. Where’s the crime? Is society afraid I might grow crappy white boy dreadlocks and start selling incense and tie die shirts from a stand in the flea market? Or would I mutate into some sort of criminally insane musician and travel the world singing my lies of love and peace? Will I transform into Bob Marley or Bradley Nowell, or every other musician in the history of good music? I mean, how many great rock stars can you name who weren’t high as hell when they made their best stuff? Ted Nugent, and that’s it. And he was only sober because he’s balls to the wall, bat shit crazy without drugs.

the sacrifice

What I’m trying to say to the world in general with all this, is just try and have an open mind. If you don’t smoke, well good for you. Try it, maybe you’ll like it. Maybe you won’t. I don’t really care. Just don’t tell me what to do with my life. I resent the fact that I have to take a piss test if I get injured at work. I resent the fact that as a recreational marijuana enthusiast, I get thrown in the same prison as rapists and murderers. I resent that a prohibition on the much more dangerous drug alcohol was found to be unconstitutional, but somehow the prohibition on marijuana is still in full effect. I resent a generation of hippies who grew up to be tight ass politicians and cops and judges. I resent a state that in my opinion is still ruled by the church. I want my freedom. No fuck that. I demand my freedom to smoke weed if I want to. And if the government won’t give it to me, then I’ll just have to keep breaking the law. It’s what I do best anyway. And now that I’m smoking weed again, it doesn’t even stress me out, so everybody wins. (everybody = me)

Hell, you could even argue that America was founded on the principle of flipping the bird to the establishment and doing whatever you want. So basically if you are against the right to smoke marijuana, you hate freedom. And you are probably a communist who burns puppies alive for fun. It makes sense to me, but what do I know, I’m high right now.

And you may be wondering why I threw in a bunch of pictures. Well I started out with one or two topical ones, but then realized I have this huge selection of art I’ve found online, and I really enjoy art, so why not share some of it with you people. Happy 2008 everyone, I hope you all get laid a lot and win the lottery. Here’s a few more.

cyber feelingJuxtapoz magazine posterWhat's your flavor?Victor Cervi

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24 responses to “Do I look like someone who would smoke … marijuana? (pt. 1)

  1. Okay. I don’t smoke pot. I’ve never smoked pot. I don’t want to smoke pot and I don’t particularly like it when people do smoke pot around me, though I tolerate it.
    HOWEVER, I do agree that marijuana should be legalized. I do not see any reason whatsoever that cops should be wasting their time and money creating criminals out of people who are essentially acting like cats do on catnip. Sleepy, giggly and hungry. I can think of far worse things for a person to be.
    You’re right, alcohol is by far the more evil of the two and that is tolerated and even celebrated in our society.
    But hey, when has society ever done logical things and/or made sense at the best of times?

  2. greenmetropolis

    Dammit, Talea got here first. Well, at least she agrees with me. I am SO about the same arguement. Where are the recorded fatalities for marijuana poisoning? Or the doped-driving? Huh? My chem teacher’s daughter had a pot plant in her room, and my teacher was always down with it. Way healthier than cigarettes, and it’s true.

    In fact, my doctor herself, being an actual good doctor, unlike so many crap doctors, is all about the weed for my anxiety dealio. “Yeah, sure. Less chemicals, less invasive, less likely to be addictive, we can look into that.”

    Pot can be damned good for you, and anyone who drinks and disagrees with me on pot is a lying fucking hypocrite. You know, if I had just smoked a joint before going to the Family Christmas Nightmare instead of taking too many pills I would have been downright friendly and amusing instead of a doped up zombie.

    Fuck you establishment. I happen to NOT look like a person who uses drugs, as has been many a comment. I have a desk job, I can be uber classy when called for, but guess what? I smoke dope like there is no tomorrow and I am damn proud of it. And yes, I manage to be a pot smoking vegetarian in the second most hippy neighbourhood of Toronto, and yet I am not a smelly hippy and turn my nose up in disgust at all things tie-dyed.

    Venting over. Dude, you need to move to Canadia. We put up with the cold for a reason, you know.

  3. Talea: Society is crazy. And thanks for the tolerance. I imagine you as a non smoker. I don’t think pot would mix well with your personality. But maybe it would chill you out. You could even end up smiling at people on the street, or even the subway. Gah! My mind is imploding with the very thought. Perhaps it’s best you stay off the herb. Celebrating evil sounds like fun, happy thursday Talea, cheers.

    Em: Dude your teacher grew pot? No shit. And your doctor is down with it? Holy crap. Canadia sounds like heaven, minus the judgment. And I hate to be the one to say this, but you totally do look like someone who smokes pot. Sorry.

    And I just thought of this, but maybe cool non smoking people view getting high like I view vegetarianism. It’s weird, and I want no part in it, but whatever floats your boat. Except there’s a shit ton of really hot vegetarians, so that would be the one reason I would try it. No I take that back, there’s not enough vag-love in the world to make me put down my bbq and steak. But I would definitely pretend to consider it. At least if the vegetarian chick was really really hot, and kind of desperate, and didn’t realize she was hot, and also seemed pretty gullible. No screw that, I love meat. But I would maybe not eat meat whilst having sex, that’s a compromise right? Damn, another mediocre metaphor shot to shit thanks to my ridiculous stipulations.

  4. Josh, you are exactly right. I think it would mix horribly with my personality, which is why I stay the hell away from it. It wouldn’t chill me out, it would probably launch me into a paranoid fit.

  5. Talea: Don’t worry little lady, in another twenty years or so I’m going to move up there and win the race for emperor of Canadia, and when I do, me and Prime Minister-ette Emerald will cook you some wicked hash brownies so you don’t have to smoke, and I’ll provide you with some secret service ninjas and shit, and some professional English nannies for grown folks, and you won’t even have to worry about the paranoia. Plus by then, my army of scientists will have taken all the crappy side effects out of weed, thanks to cloning and embryo research, and stem cells and shit.

  6. that was inspired man.

  7. greenmetropolis

    Prime Ministerette! Yes!!!!! And just as a little sidebar to the vegetarianism, I am probably the only non-nazi vegetarian I know. Actually, I don’t know very many, and there’s a good reason for that. You could eat your big ole’ steak right next to me and I wouldn’t have a problem so long as there was a veggie option for me (with no fucking peppers, jesus christ people!) Pot does make some people paranoid, this is true. I have never found this. I think Talea should just stick around the rest of us pot smokers and keep up the contact high. I AM ALL ABOUT THE BROWNIES!!!!

  8. greenmetropolis

    by the way, that half-naked (or just half, really) drippy girl is hot. you don’t happen to know the artist who did that, do you (not necessarily personally) because I’m in the mood for more tattoos, and I could use some art-style inspiration….

  9. Were you really high when you wrote that? I felt like the further along I got into your post, the more and more I could hear this triumphant music in the background getting louder and louder, like in the climax of a movie, and then at the end the audience (me) would start clapping those really slow, loud, and affirmative claps!

    Seriously, power to you, and people need to chill the fuck out. I’m kind of in a similar boat to Talea; not only have I never smoked pot, but I’ve also never smoked a cigarette. Its not that I never had anything against it, it’s just that I was never in a situation where such things were offered to me in those “formative high school/university years”, and now that I’m a grown up, I have no yearning for it….but hey, if you and greenie made me some brownies, who knows 😉

    PS: LMAO at ” So basically if you are against the right to smoke marijuana, you hate freedom. And you are probably a communist who burns puppies alive for fun” and “Is society afraid I might grow crappy white boy dreadlocks and start selling incense and tie die shirts from a stand in the flea market?”….so good 🙂

  10. Em: What? You don’t like peppers? I thought everyone liked peppers. Go fig, a vegetarian who doesn’t like peppers. Well, I’m glad you are tolerant of us carnivores, we appreciate not getting preached at for eating. And I looked up the artist, he also did the one I posted with the girl with the open rib cage and the wires. His name is Will Murai, and I’ve been seeing his work a lot lately all over the webz. He’s got a really cool style, and captivating, often humorous subject matter. Check him out here: http://www.willmurai.com/index.html

    Also, we’re going to need a second batch of those brownies for Romi-O. (clever right? Like Romeo. I bet I’m the first person to come up with that gem) (sike)

    Romi: Yes, I really was high. But not too high, because when I get too high I can’t focus enough to organize my thoughts. I was also drinking, and that was probably where the triumphant music came from. I tend to go off on crazy rants and speeches, kind of like Hitler, but with less genocide. Actually, I do that in real life too, not just when I write. I’m a ranty mofo.

    It still trips me out that people grow up without ever being around drugs and alcohol. I mean, my school was kind of famous for having a lot of drugs and parties and shit. That and slutty girls, but that’s a whole different vice. Anyway, I find it crazy that people like you seem to never end up around it. I mean, that’s all good with me, you don’t have to be around drugs to be cool unless you are on TV. But my own experience was just so different growing up. Honestly, there are so many people who don’t oppose pot, I’m not sure exactly why it’s still illegal. Probably the religious right, because in the bible belt a separation of church and state doesn’t necessarily mean you shouldn’t have illogical laws based on religion. I still think if you counted every person who uses marijuana, and every person who doesn’t oppose marijuana, the opposing side would be in the minority. Oh well, maybe when my kids are grown the world will be a better place. (probably not)

  11. Believe it. I too have never smoked a cigarette. Never even held one in my pretty little hand. Us ‘straight arrow’ types do exist!

  12. Talea: Well I’m glad you do. Life is so much more interesting with pretty women to corrupt. 😉

  13. Hah, I’ve found you. I read some of your comments on other blogs and thought you were amusing as hell, and wondered if you had a blog of your own. AWESOME title, by the way.

    And: I don’t smoke cigarettes, but I do occasionally smoke weed. I see nothing wrong with it, and you’re right about the government being a bunch of crazy tight-assed former hippies.

  14. SINNER!!!!!

    Haha..

    Do what you want man as long as it doesn’t hurt other people.

    And the arguement that weed is better than alcohol is bullshit by the way. Weed is not good for you at all and alcohol has some health benefits if used in modoration.

    Speaking of alcohol. Check out my new alcohol blog http://donteattheworm.wordpress.com

  15. Weed weed weed weed, weed weed weed weed, na-na-na-NA-NANAAAAH!!! WEEEED!!!!!

    And thanks for the artist link 😀

  16. Alls I know is that alcohol in moderation is healthy, but alcohol in moderation will not get me fucked up or make Family Guy a million times funnier. And weed doesn’t give me a hangover or make me feel sick after one glass. Just saying, is all.

  17. i value all the opinions here.. i smoked as a teenager.. it made me too paranoid. i quit and went “corporate”. verging on 40 i thought i will try again cause life ain’t all it’s cracked up to be and i need something more. Now, when i smoke,, i don’t think i’m even high. is something wrong with me or is the wrong stuff? i giggle a little, but i dont’ feel funny or silly or spaced out or anything. I talk and then forget what the point was I was trying to make. What’s wrong with me? can someone just be hardwired to not get high? or could my antidepressants I take (wellbutrin, zoloft) be counteracting??

  18. I tried to get clearance to smoke pot at work for my glaucoma, but they said no. So now I’m just a high school teacher who can’t see or read.

  19. were do you find the good stuff……just call me the looker….can somebody help this sad texan out

  20. Amber: Welcome aboard the hell train darlin.

    King Steve: An entire blog for booze? Kick ass! And I wasn’t saying weed was healthier than booze, I just feel from personal experience that you are way more likely to start a fight with someone large, drive recklessly, have sex with undesirable women, and generally screw your life up more when you are drunk.

    Em: Have you ever watched Family Guy … on WEEEEEEEED? Dang, that’s my second Half baked reference this post, including the title. I should go watch that again.

    Reb: I think the meds could affect your getting high, or not getting high. I know whenever I was speedballing in high school, I wouldn’t get very high from pot either. Plus some people just feel very natural when they smoke. Maybe you are just such a natural stoner that you feel like everything is normal? Who knows.

    Ms. Barclay: You could always teach health education, that was pretty much a joke anyway. Or average people (dummy) English. I remember when they put me in one of the normal English classes. I never turned in a single piece of homework and still had a grade average of 103. Then they moved me to AP English where I got to fuck with all the smart kids and I made a C. I’m not sure which was better, I suppose the hard class. Good luck with the not reading.

    Lori: Hit up my little brother. You didn’t hear it from me, but he’s got that fire, and at a very reasonable price.

  21. I’m new at this blog thing my daughter has a blog http://wilddreemer.blogspot.com/ and I have just in the last month started reading it because its gotten to be such a big thing.

    She has other blogs that she reads and so I venture over and check them out. I really like http://www.sundrymourning.com/ and my daughter hearts her. I like to check out what other people’s blogs she reads to just to try and see what the big deal is about this fucking blog thing.

    I’m a Gardner so sitting in front of a computer to read other people’s shit to me is like watching a fuck soap opera. I’m like out side from sun up till sun down, well when I’m not at my fucking desk at work. I live in Reno and there is snow all over so I can’t grow a fucking thing right now so I’ve gotten into this bolg thing.

    Now first I have to ask how the fuck did you get on a blog that is about moms, babies and what the hell there families are doing and then and I have to say thank god. Dude you are to funny I love your art I’m a burner http://www.burningman.com/ you should ck it out some year you would have a blast there. You live in the desert for a week and party like you have never partied before.

    To bad you just started smoking the shit but it seem like your making up for lost time thanks for the laughs. This is only the second posting I’ve ever left on a blog the other was on my daughters is that scary. I got to get out of this fucking house maybe I will go ride my quads today and take a fat one up on the mountain with me.

    Hope everything works out in court for you my last name starts with a W so I always have to listen to everyone else’s bullshit too, but its to your benefit cause then you can get a feel for the judge and learn from what the other fucker say.

    If I knew how to send you a picture I would send you one of my art car that I take to Burning man but that’s another lessons Ill have to ask my kid for help me with.

  22. Buner baby: Yes, I fucking love Sundry Mourning. I found her blog through one of my chick friends, and it was the first blog I ever read. That blog got me started blogging, and I know it’s kind of a weird blog for me to frequent, but Linda is very funny and she swears and likes zombies, so I guess we are more alike than meets the eye.

    I would love to see a picture of your art car. And I’ve heard a lot about burning man over the past few years. It sounds like a pretty sweet shindig, but probably a little too far for me to travel on my budget. And technically I did just start smoking pot, but I just started smoking pot again. In the past I smoked a shit ton of weed and tried every drug I could get my hands on. I’ve just had jobs where I got tested “randomly”, and I was on probation for a couple of years, so I had to chill out in my intake so I didn’t get locked up again.

    So welcome to the “blogoshpere” and forgive me for using such a douchey word to describe it. Come on back now you hear.

  23. YEAH! SMOKE WEED! : )

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