Boogie Woogie Woo


Fuck your mother, I feel like being evil today. I’ve been up partying for my buddies 28’th birthday most of the night, and was woken up by some retarded bitches mario brothers ringtone. So I’m in a sour ass mood, and I’m hitting the party again as soon as I can. I was told to hold off cause they would be too busy fucking for me to bother them. How about I fuckin tell you about some scary shit from my life?

VD ain’t got shit on some of the things I have come up with in my head. Keep in mind I was raised by “Christians”, aka: the most retarded people in the whole world, and some spooky mother fuckers. That having been said, from time to time they actually hit the nail on the head and tap into some supernatural carnage and what have you. Now you may or may not believe in spirits, you may or may not believe in demons, but let me tell you, they exist. I’ve seen them.

The boogie man does exist, and as far as I’m concerned this whole world may as well be the pre-hell everyone is just chilling in till they get sent to the real thing. Fuck heaven, I’m sprinting to hell. Whether you believe in the devil, or evil, or spirits, or any god damned thing, this shitty ass world we live in is not under the control of some benevolent super being, it’s a dog eat dog, festering, cum stain of an existence, filled with people and invisible things that want nothing more than to make your life miserable and torment you.

For a long time, due to my hatred for religion. I pretended like the supernatural did not exist. I did not want to give any ground to my perceived enemies, lending the credence to their pretentious and self righteous beliefs. But as is the case with many people, time wore away my resistance, and I gave in to an admission of something besides myself. I started admitting to myself alone that there was something out there. My life as a young adult became some rerun of the X-Files.

It all started when my family moved to Garner. We had been living in a very small town (at the time) called Apex, but in the sixth grade I moved. Not only did I move away from all my friends, but I also made the rough switch from home schooling (again, CRAZY Christians) to public schooling. At the same time I was trying to adjust to public school, and the real world I had been sheltered from, the church I had been going to my whole remembered life became a living hell for me. The leaders in the church decided my family had to go. Despite my parents being fairly square, they still have the same FUCK YOU gene’s that I inherited. So my entire life was in turmoil. With no friends or family I could turn to, I retreated into myself to deal with the pressures.

I began to hate the religion I had been raised in, but at the same time I simultaneously began seeing more evidence that their phony stories were real than I had ever seen before. I saw what can only be called miracles. I saw a man grow an extra three inches in his bum leg, on the spot. I saw people violently and suddenly change their entire personalities, but for the better. I saw people instantly healed from sickness. I tried so very hard to connect in some way to a higher being, and I did. I met God. He knocked my ass out, and told me I was a fuck up. I woke up crying. It sounds like bull shit, I know, but it happened. At that moment, when I heard God, I decided to stop going to church. God showed me that everything I had ever learned about church was total lie. He told me to do the right thing. He told me to take a different path.

Right after that I started seeing them. They looked like men, but with no definable shape. Dressed in suits or tattered clothes, I knew them immediately. They would stand on the edge of our yard, not hiding, but just inside the edges of the moons shadow in the pine trees. I would wake up with one of them standing outside my window, next to me, just feet away, staring at me while I slept. They could sense how I was feeling, and became more aggressive the more scared I got. When I was brave they would be down the block. When I was afraid and cowardly they would stand close, knowing I couldn’t do shit to stop them.

I remember one time my mom sent me out with a bowl full of shit to dump in the compost, and when I dumped it this huge dog was next to me, snarling. But it wasn’t a normal dog, it was jet black and it’s head was sawed off, and it was bleeding like a motherfucker. Despite the lack of a face or vocal cord it just stood there growling and barking, bleeding out the neck, like I had just cut it’s head off. And I knew it wasn’t a dog at all, it was one of the men who stood around the property watching me.

Every day, I saw these creatures, and I wrote it off to being crazy. I saw these men and animals watching me, observing my every move. They followed me everywhere I went. When I was playing hookie down in some storm drain in my area, they would walk in the opening and only disappear when I started sweating and hyperventilating and running away. They would walk past the windows at my friends houses. I would be driving and they would line the woods. I thought I was insane.

Then, maybe six years after I had moved out of the house, I had a conversation with my brother. Nate told me he had seen the same exact things. LP had told him that he had seen the same things too. Not just coincidental bull shit, cause I’m the first guy to call someone out on some bull shit. Our experiences were the exact same. The men stood in the exact same places, they looked the same, their animals were the same. In every explicit detail I spilled my guts to my brother, and as he told me his story, we realized it wasn’t just insanity. The boogie man existed and was really watching our family the whole time.

Fuck what you believe about the afterlife. Fuck what you believe about the supernatural. I’ve seen some real shit. I’ve actually touched some real shit. Just cause you don’t believe in what you can’t see doesn’t mean it isn’t real. I can’t see AIDS, but I know if I go fuck some hooker I might get it. I can’t tell you how you should live your life, but I can tell you evil exists. I can tell you the boogie man is real. I can tell you there is also good out there in some form.

If you believe, then right on. If you don’t, then you don’t believe because you haven’t seen what’s going on yet. Maybe I am insane, but if I am then my brothers, the most trusted people in my life, are insane too. Believe whatever the fuck you want, I don’t give a shit, but watch your back when you sleep, cause something is coming for you, no matter how sneaky it is.

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13 responses to “Boogie Woogie Woo

  1. Evil exists in many forms my friend, sometimes the media makes them into an evil to keep up the good ratings and viewers, not knowing that their sources resemble a carton of soured milk. Those of us who do know better, keep it in. Do me a favor; don’t fight this one alone.

  2. This SO read like a classic episode of the X-Files…I was just waiting for Mulder to pop into the story so I could make out with him 😉

    PS: I haven’t seen the boogie man yet, but I don’t put anything past my existence and I don’t like sleeping alone (this is the part where an on-demand man-whore would be very helpful 😉 )

  3. A classic episode, you say? Until we find out the unexciting ending of it being a psychotic parent or two dressing up as The Boogieman as a perverse form of discipline 😛

  4. You’re either fucking with us all or you’ve experienced some sincerely creepy-ass woo-woo weirdness. Either way, what do you think the men represent? Our lack of control over the shit sandwich life can sometimes be, just a reminder of evil? — or something else?

  5. Peter Parkour: Hahahahaha. You probably sleep well at night don’t you.

    Virgilius Sade: I’m not fighting anything, we’re all alone, and I wouldn’t put it past them, but these weren’t costumes.

    Romi: I hate sleeping alone too. In fact I very rarely get a full nights rest. When I don’t drink or smoke weed before I go to bed, (which is most of the time now, cause I’m trying real hard to be good) I usually have wicked insomnia for most the night, and rough bouts of nightmares. In fact, even with sleep aids I very rarely get a full nights sleep. But when I’m with someone I usually sleep better, so I understand. And who doesn’t want an on demand whore. I hope you brought enough to share with the class.

    Sundry: Wow, sorry you happened to tune in for this one particular blog. I feel kind of embarrassed for talking about it now, cause I just never really have. And no, I am not fucking with everyone, at least not right now, although I can see why you would think so. I have seen too many unexplainable things with my own eyes, and most of them were scary as hell. As for the men who watched me and my brothers, that’s where it gets hard to explain. I don’t have a name for them, but I believe they are the part of evil that keeps track of people as they are forming their lives and making decisions. I’ve never heard any explanation in any religion that seemed right, but I think they are essentially scouts. They watch, gather information, and occasionally jump in to effect a situation. I always thought that if evil did have an intelligence behind it, some supernatural force with a plan, that they would be like the KGB if you gave them superpowers and all eternity to plan ahead. And that the headquarters would need to keep tabs on everyone as they grew up, and try to decide which ones were going to be a problem before they had the chance to do so, that way they could spend more time on the problematic humans when they were children and steer history in their favor.

    But what the hell do I know. I’m just an uneducated criminal with a booze problem. I must have missed the one Sunday school where they explain something useful about good and evil.

  6. They’re both out there. And they happen anywhere. You could wake up on a bus and be sitting next to a wise old man who tells you a story so wonderful that for a second you understand your place in the world. You could wake up on a bus to find that you’re being murdered by someone who only moments earlier had been sane. One day you could wake up and be that monster. So could anyone you love. Or they could cure cancer, save a child, anything at all. Unless you can see it, and we usually pray that we don’t, there’s no way to know where good and evil will fall. It’s terrifying, and sometimes trying to find the balance between not being blindsided by the good and not being overwhelmed by the evil is an absolutely exhausting task. Having someone who gets it helps a lot. I love you.

    P.S. You’re not crazy. And even if you were, it’s not so bad.

  7. Emerald. I love you too darlin, and when you find someone who gets it, let me know. 😉 Also, that’s why I don’t like public transportation. Waaaay too many wise old men. 🙂

  8. I remember the first time Nate told me about this himself….and Sami said she also saw similar things in your parents old yard as well….I know you aren’t full of it and I totally believe you.

  9. Holy shitballs. We must talk about this. My father has told me stories about these men (or whatever they are)! He mostly saw them in jail. I’m totally creeped out you descried shit my father has told me about for years.

  10. Steph: Thanks, you can be witness that I’m not the only one!

    May: That’s eerie, I’ll hit you up in a while.

  11. Just don’t drink the kool-aid ok?

  12. Donna: I make it a practice never to get all up in anyones Kool Aid if I don’t know the flavor.

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