An ode to true love.

Every now and then you have a moment of clarity among the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Perhaps in the middle of your cracked out rush to get everything donerightnowforfuckssake!!!!! Maybe just sitting there with your mind wildly firing it’s ADD staccato. That endlessly breaking wave of disconnected thought pollution that we’ve become so used to. And then you realize that you really have true love, and you probably ought to get off your ass and go express it to the one who matters most to you. So here is my feeble attempt at appreciation, be gentle cause it comes from the heart.

You have been with me through thick and thin. You may not be the strongest, but you are surprisingly strong when I need your support. It’s as if you know when I’m hurt even before I do, reacting in my best interest. You don’t mind when I’m tired. You don’t mind when I’m frustrated. You’re the perfect listener, whether I’m angry or excited, depressed or elated. You won my stomach over with your delicious cooking. I think we make an excellent team. You know me better than I ever thought possible, sometimes better than I know myself.

I can’t imagine life without you. I would feel like a piece of me were missing if you ever left. I may be as manly as forty ninjas fighting an army of rabid wolverines wearing plaid and army boots, but if you ever left I know I would cry. I want you to be happy, and healthy, and stay with me for the rest of our lives. I know I haven’t always treated you as gently as I should have, but you never complain, you always understand.

I remember our first time together. We were so unsure, nervous, but excited, like children but not in a pervy way. And our love only got better with each time. I love making love to you for hours on end. I love seeing you next to me when I go to sleep, and knowing you will still be there when I wake up. Your skin on mine, feeling your warmth. No matter what happens, no matter what life throws our way and what sort of troubles we have to go through together, I promise I will never crush you. And I can’t wait to slide that ring on your finger officially making you mine forever.

And even if you aren’t the most coordinated, and I don’t use you as often, secretly you’re still my favorite hand, Lefty.

Love forever and always,

The rest of the body.

PS – Don’t tell Righty about this, you know how sensitive he is.


8 responses to “An ode to true love.

  1. Awww, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!! So I guess me being relatively ambidextrous is also a good thing?

  2. Pingback: A Pot Smoking Vegetarian Hippie Votes Conservative. What Gives? « 800 Miles

  3. LMAO…you jack-ass, you totally had me fooled! But whatever it was SOOO about her…lol….yay for love! Both of the hand-variety and otherwise!!


  4. Em: Ambidextrous-isity is always a good thing. ALWAYS.

    Romes: It was so NOT about her. It was all about my left hand, and it all amkes sense if you go back and read it knowing that. I laughed so hard when I posted this. I made her go read it, and she got all teary and happy and then got to the end and it was all a joke. I know it’s evil and probably bad for a relationship to do shit like this, but the build up-let down comedy was too bittersweet to pass up. It was just sitting there like a mug of angel tears waiting for me to chug it. Ahhhh, sweet disappointment!

  5. You are too too farkin’ funny! You GOT me!!

  6. The post itself may not be about me, but the romantic sentiment better be about me! I’ll use both fists to kick your ass if you want ambidextrous-isity! 😉

  7. Trisha Truly: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

    Em: Ha, nope! It was all just a giant trick. An emotional bait and switch. And it was perfectly executed! I am the mastah!

    But don’t get your panties in a bunch, we have a big day coming up and I’ll work out something pleasant for you then. 😉

  8. w00t! panties unbunched! way-hey-hey 😉

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